发现我残破

o o c || Concerning Plagiarism and POLYchromatic

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 00:42:36 GMT

There has been a recent instance of possible plagiarism with a River Tam (journal agorramdoll) player at the game POLYchromatic (polychromatic). I have contacted the mods, and because that contact left me with the distinct feeling that I was not being listened to, I have decided to make this post so that people can see my evidence, the mods defense for the player, and decide for themselves how to feel about the situation. All mentioned email attachments are in this .zip file if you would like to download them.

I want to be clear so that there is no misunderstanding: I have nothing against the mods as people. I am sure they do a good job of modding their game in other areas, and are good people outside of this issue. I have nothing against the player in question, as I am sure she's a good person and good roleplayer outside of this incident. That does not mean that I will not point out this spot of what I feel to be bad behavior and poor judgment.

First Email: To POLYchromatic Mods

Date/Time: Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 12:40 AM
To: Caru's mod email at polychromatic.info
CC: Bon's, Rizu's, Molly's, and Mary's mod email accounts at polychromatic.info
From: River's gmail account
Subject: ATTN: Mods
Body: Polychromatic mods-

It has come to my attention tonight that one of your players (I believe she goes by Juli or Jules) has lifted and paraphrased parts of my application and/or meta for one on which she was accepted to your game. The application was for River Tam, a psychic character from the series Firefly and subsequent movie Serenity.

While I understand that there are only so many ways to get ideas across for a character of this nature, there are parts of her application that do not strike me as being kosher and, after some personal deliberation on the subject, I decided to bring this issue to you.

For full disclosure with you, I will say that I contacted her earlier tonight over icon credit, but since seeing the application in question I have not had any further contact with her. This is an issue within your game, and all I would like to do at this point is alert you to the problem so that you can deal with it as you see fit to within your game. I've included caps of what I feel you might find relevant.

---Concerning the application

Relevant posts: Her River Tam application (http://appfloss.livejournal.com/3022.html?thread=4401102#t4401102), my River Tam application (http://biverbam.livejournal.com/10156.html), my logged-in comment on the rpadvicememe (http://rp-advice-meme.livejournal.com/1293.html?thread=1944333#t1944333). (For clarification, I'm referring to the advice meme, in part, not because I do not want people to use the advice I gave, but because I feel that she did not take the advice, but instead used it to pad her application with little to no change to the wording I used. It is also easily found through the memedirecotry journal, and I have not seen any other instances to date of someone using my words so blatantly.)

Her: "Before her time at the Academy, this ability was extremely subtle and very undeveloped and attributed more to intuitive ability and intelligence than real psychic ability."

Me: "Before the Academy, it was subtle, small in scale, and attributed to being not only a genius but highly intuitive."

---

Her: "Conversely, River doesn’t always know what she’s saying, or the effect it has on other people. She’s very childlike in that manner. A great example of this would be in ’Safe’, where, on the verge of being burned at the stake, she reveals that the current leader of the town killed the old one. This not only ensures her death by burning, but hastens it as well (until the captain and his crew come to rescue them). She’ll often blurt things out without thinking of the consequences it holds."

Me (application): "Sometimes River will speak and not realize what it is she's saying. The lack of filter does seem to effect her ability to control herself (ex; stabbing Jayne in "Ariel") or the things she says (ex; with the Patron in "Safe," the line "I never know what I'm saying," in the BDM)."

Me (advicememe): "Sometimes River doesn't know what the hell she's saying. Or just isn't aware that she's saying it. Or something. It's really hard to tell looking at canon, but I figure that without the emotional filter she kinda lost most of the filter on keeping her mouth shut (see: telling the Patron that he killed the old patron, which I figure most sane people able to keep their mouths shut wouldn't have mentioned in front of a crowd that wants to burn them for being a witch). She'll just mention things, and probably make people uncomfortable, or bring up things they don't want her bringing up, etc."

---

Her: "Most people don’t seem to understand the things that River says. It’s often a mix of scientific babble and seemingly random musings about seemingly random things. Most people just think that she’s spouting nonsense phrases, but those that look deeper into the things that she says will know that there is a ‘method to her madness’, so to speak."

Me: "Other times it may sound like she's speaking in incomprehensible riddles or nonsense, but to those who pay attention they will find that there is a method in her madness where she makes connections between what is known to help her make the most sense of things around her."

---

Her: "Even if that means telling him the hodgeberries he was eating were poisoned and then laughing at him when he spits them out."

Me: "River will still tease her brother by telling him the hodgeberries she just fed him were poisoned (or by reminding the 'manliest' member of the crew that "Jayne is a girls' name, "Trash")."

---

Her: "There are times when she speaks about herself in third person, and that’s when she wants to be as separate from herself as possible."

Me (advicememe): "Don't overuse the third person. It's really easy to fall into letting it become a crutch to get the "crazy" voice across, but she rarely uses it in canon. (When I play her I try to limit speaking in the third person to times where she actually wanted to distance herself from herself. If that makes any sense.)"

(Please note that what was mentioned in parentheses on this advice meme was never mentioned anywhere else by me, is not canonical, and is only a part of my personal interpretation of the character.)

---

Her: "By the age of fourteen she was already finishing classes at a university – but nothing challenged her."

Me: "From correcting her brother's spelling at the age of three to being in collegiate honors classes by the age of fourteen, everything came naturally to her, including dance."

(I know that doesn't look too similar, but the idea that she was in college at the age of fourteen is not strict canon and part of my own headcanon for her given what we do know about her education/intelligence level and her age when she first enrolled in the Academy. An age that does, in fact, vary depending on which timeline of events you wish to follow.)

---Concerning IP addresses

[REMOVED: I do not feel it is constructive to include this exact information here publicly, and I do not wish to compromise this player's privacy.]

---Concerning icons

As to the issues of icons, you can see the caps for yourselves. In the first, the icons I made and requested credit for were 'you're stupid,' 'we want you to marry us', and 'kill you with my mind.' There are others without credit, and I did not specify to her in my PM which ones I wanted her to credit as being mine, but after the PM was sent, you'll see in the second cap that only my icons were deleted and replaced.

I want to be clear that I do not mind if my icons are used, and if she had refused to credit or been otherwise unresponsive I would not have pushed the matter. However, this issue on top of everything else mentioned above lends more to the theory that she has been following my River journal for some amount of time and, at the very least, had the opportunity to take information from my application.

Thank you so much for your time,
-Gidget (biverbam River player, and my personal journal is gogogidget if you have a need to contact me through livejournal)
Attachments: 001pmrequest, 002pmresponse, 003iconsbefore, 004iconsafter

(This is the first contact I had with the mod team of POLYchromatic. I laid out everything I was privy to at the time. Please, do not mistake the inclusion of the issue over icon credit to mean that I do not want people to use my icons or consider them using my icons as plagiarism. This information was included because I found, and still find, the fact that she lied about not knowing which icons were mine to be suspicious within the context of everything else outlined thus far.)

Second Email: To POLYchromatic Mods

Date/Time: Fri, Sep 18, 2009 at 10:09 PM
To: Caru's mod email at polychromatic.info
CC: Bon's, Rizu's, Molly's, and Mary's mod email accounts at polychromatic.info
From: River's gmail account.
Subject: ATTN: Mods, Second Email
Body: Polychromatic mods-

This may be jumping the gun, but at this point I'm not sure I'm concerned with that anymore. However, I've received no response from you on the matter, and the player in question has been allowed to post IC after the complaint was filed. In that post is more evidence of them following my River in the IC responses from other characters to her. I'm including caps of her post and my River's page on the Taxon wikia service that mentions her being a troll. Her wiki page is here (http://taxon.wikia.com/wiki/River_Tam) and a cap of her post is included with this email as an attachment.

In addition to that and everything included in the previous email sent to you, there are similarities between her and my permissions post that I cannot overlook in light of everything else. Both of which are also capped and included in this email.

To be quite frank, I've dealt with identity theft in real life. Seeing it come up again in my online life, and moreover the happy and fun hobby I usually enjoy, is disturbing. That you've done nothing thus far that I can see to rectify the situation is not helping my trust that you will handle it accordingly, if at all.

I do not know these people. I do not know why they have decided to follow my characterization and interactions so closely. I want it to stop so that I can go back to posting and tagging freely without the threat that it will show up somewhere else. I'm not expecting to see her banned, either from the game or from the character. That's unnecessarily harsh, and I don't wish any ill on the player. Just that something is done about the similarities, and that this kind of copycatting is ended.

All of these things individually would be nothing to worry about and I would have looked the other way yesterday, but combined as they are this cannot be a simple coincidence.

More than your time, I would appreciate and thank you for a response. I will re-send my original email if there is a need for it.
-Gidget
Attachments: 005icpost, 006herpermissionspost, 007mypermissionspost

(I waited as close to a full twenty-four hours before sending this email as I could. I would like to clarify that I do not consider, on their own, reference to River being a troll or the similarities in permissions posts to be plagiarism. These things were included because, combined with the previous email and evidence therein, I felt these things would be further proof that this is not a coincidental thing and that my journal and playing had been followed and picked apart and used by someone else without them playing this character from their own perspective. By this point in time, I was feeling incredibly discomfited with the entire matter, and I have not checked the agorramdoll journal since, and I do not wish to go back and check it now.)

Third Email: From POLYchromatic Mods

Date/Time: Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 12:29 AM
To: River's gmail address
From: POLYchromatic.mod gmail address
Subject: (no subject)
Body: Gidget,

Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Clearly, this is an issue that concerns you a great deal. It is certainly a matter of concern to us if players are lifting pieces of their applications or the content of their posts from other games, players, and applications, so we appreciate you bringing your concerns to us.

However, based on the evidence provided, we, the moderators of POLYchromatic, do not feel that this player has committed plagiarism thusfar. Plagiarism, as we define it, is directly or completely copying parts of posts, applications, or writing samples and claiming them as one's own. While we also examine situations in which plagiarism is suspected based on rewording bodies of text (as in, the section is exactly same, but in a different tense, or the structure of the sentences has been inverted) in either an application or a character entry, we believe this is not the case.

While we understand your frustration, there was not enough direct correlation between application content to warrant immediate action regarding possible creative theft. You had not received notification from us yet not because we are at all discounting your concerns, but because we are also aware that when people play the same character, many things can remain similar, including, for example, the need for a permissions post for characters with psychic powers, or a popular fandom descriptor (such as "troll") for a character type. We wanted to examine this situation more closely before taking any action.

If it seems as though this player does borrow pieces of her gameplay in a way that indicates plagiarizing, we will be certain to speak to her. She may, at this point, be unaware of her actions or she may be playing the character as a kind of homage to yours, seeing yours as one of the best examples of the character in LiveJournal RP. If necessary, we will inquire further into the matter and consider the actions that we take based on our investigation. It may take time for us to fully investigate these circumstances, and we ask you to be patient while we gather information. We cannot act without knowing the complete story and situation from both you and the other player. Thank you for your patience with us.

Thank you again for bringing this to our attention.

Sincerely,
POLYchromatic Mods

(I'm still not entirely sure what to say about this response of theirs. They go from telling me that this is not plagiarism to that they will investigate it to, as far as I can tell, implying that I should be flattered because of the possibility that this is an homage.

This is something I've said before, will say now, and will most likely repeat in the future: I am not the best at anything. I do not believe that I am without need for improvement, or that my portrayal is anything but my own. That they brought this up strikes me as a silencing tactic or an effort to placate me because they had no intentions of disciplining this player in the first place.)

Fourth Email: To POLYchromatic Mods

Date/Time: Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 1:33 AM
To: POLYchromatic.mod gmail address
From: River's gmail address
Subject: RE: (no subject)
Body: POLYchromatic mods-

A) The least you could (and should) have done was to send a quick message to myself so that I knew you had received the complaint and were looking into it, as well as contacting the player in question so that they could pause all gameplay while you investigate. This seems a simple, common sense response to this kind of issue.

B) How is this:
Her: "Before her time at the Academy, this ability was extremely subtle and very undeveloped and attributed more to intuitive ability and intelligence than real psychic ability."

Me: "Before the Academy, it was subtle, small in scale, and attributed to being not only a genius but highly intuitive."
not a close enough match to be considered plagiarism to you? I mentioned, more than once, that I understand the limitations in communicating ideas about a character of this nature. I understand completely that some things will come out in similar fashions, and I do not begrudge her that. I will say again that had this been one or two things, even the parts about my personal headcanon, I would have looked the other way and not brought this to you in the first place. Right now, with the sheer volume and pervasiveness of the information I have provided you with, I'm hard pressed to see how this is something you don't/won't consider to be copying.

C) I do not want an homage. I am not complimented by this, as this is not a compliment. I love seeing other interpretations of this character, and to see players that understand her and bring their own perspective. What I do not appreciate is seeing someone take my perspective and attempt to shoddily imitate it.

If you do not plan to do anything about this, please tell me as much so that I may take steps to make this information public as I see fit.

-Gidget

(This is where the tone shifts completely, and it did so because of how they decided to respond to my concerns. Instead of acknowledging them and telling me that they were looking into it, they chose instead to defend the player in question and dismiss me. I know this email sounds harsh, and I do wish in some way that I could have been more understanding, but I am not going to let them shove this infraction under the rug, for whatever reason. I have been stalked in my real, personal life, and I will say that this has colored the tone and vehemence of my responses. To say otherwise is a lie. That does not, however, change the facts as they are.)

Fifth Email: From POLYchromatic Mods

Date/Time: Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 2:09 AM
To: River's gmail address
From: Generic 'mods' polychromatic.info email address
Subject: (no subject)
Body: Thank you for your email. We could not answer your email immediately because none of the moderators were available to respond until this evening due to other obligations such as school and work. We responded as quickly as possible.

We will speak to this other player regarding this situation. Upon receiving all the information, we will take such action as we see fit. Asking a player to pause gameplay prior to a proper investigation is practicing the principle of guilty until proven innocent. We do not and will not abide by such principles in POLYchromatic.

--POLYchromatic Moderators

(So, again, I am told they will investigate after they've told me that they do not consider the evidence I provided them to be evidence of plagiarism. At this point, I do not trust them to handle this. I do not believe they will do anything about the situation, and my patience has run out. That is why this post is here. While I applaud that they have their principle of "innocent until proven guilty" for their game, I neither share it nor am I compelled to abide by it.)

Sixth Email: To POLYchromatic Mods

Date/Time: Sat, Sep 19, 2009 at 3:16
To: General 'mods' polychromatic.info email address
From: River's gmail address
Subject: RE: (no subject)
Body: Thank you for your time. I will be making a public post about this issue in the near future, and I wish you the best of luck dealing with it within the game.

-Gidget

(My final contact with the moderators of polychromatic. After this email was sent, they made this mod post about POLYchromatic's plagiarism policy.)

To clarify, I would have been more than content to let them handle this privately with the player and this post would not have been necessary had they not responded to my concerns the way they did. I trusted that they would take care of things, and their behavior and response broke that trust.

Should anyone have questions, please feel free to ask here. Anon commenting is on, but I have turned IP logging back on, and it will remain on until I feel comfortable with that level of anonymity again. All other contact information can be found in the userinfo for this journal.

Thank you for understanding my need to make this post, and I hope things settle and go back to normal as soon as is feasibly possible for all involved.

o o c || vidya clips~

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 07:57:04 GMT

Character stuff!

The Bible is stupid.

A bunch of clips: talking to cows, trying to marry Simon, being a distraction, shooting people dead, and creeping out Jubal Early.

THE SESSIONS!

Fight scenes!

At the Maidenhead.

V. REAVERS

And the inevitable music videos!

This is both major fight scenes IN a music video. Just because.

It's PINK FLOYD. I can't not include it.

And this isn't necessarily RIVER, but it's my River-esque mood song. So there.

Ta-da the end.

o o c || The Academy

Sun, 02 Aug 2009 10:31:37 GMT

Here's a huge, far more practically informative write-up on the Academy for Taxon. Hopefully this will help more if anyone comes around to explore again.

Over in Wilde, there's a small office building¹ with pavement meant for parking, though the spots are marked with circles instead of lines (high end government facility means rich people means sporty hover-vehicles). Feel free to make up "RESERVED: [name here]" things as you will, though all the spots are empty. The front doors to the building read 'Anglo-Sino Alliance Honors Institute: Financial Offices,' with generic office hours listed below.

Inside the building is mostly things like cubicles and data servers. All the information is will be accounting paperwork going back to the school year 2499-2500, from student financial aid to department budgets. Anyone snooping will find that the "landscaping" budget is sucking money like a black hole, and has been since 2504, which coincides with records showing that this is the year they received a grant from the Parliament's Committee for Education. The front desk will also have a nice holder with pamphlets advertising the school itself.

On the first floor (anywhere on the first floor, though probably hidden a bit) is an 'Authorized Personnel Only' holo-door with the Allied Planets seal. You would need a keycard to open it (not anymore, everything is open now), and it leads to a high security records room² and an elevator that goes down into the lower levels. This records room holds more sensitive information, like classified student profiles, backup copies of the students' interview sessions videos, the financial (payroll) and employment information on the staff in the lower levels, and all holo security footage.

Another entrance to the lower levels is a large, open elevator shaft outside the building. There's a large control panel next to it, and it's layout and functions are all rather simplistic, though a key is usually required to make the lift go up and down from the surface. Now, though, it's like most doors on Taxon and will work for just about anyone. This is the loading dock where they receive supplies and comatose students³.

The lower levels go as follows (the higher the number, the lower it is, and each level is soundproofed against the others):

Offices and security
Staff dorms (four floors)
Exam and interview rooms
Operating rooms
Training areas (five floors)
Classrooms
Student dorms (two floors)

Offices and security: For the doctors and officials on staff. Each door has a name on it, though only a few have titles. The largest office belongs to Dr. Evander Mathias, and the title beneath his name reads Program Director. Security is one large room, staffed by two officers, with monitors for all the security cameras in the building.

Staff dorms: Two floors are rooms for all staff of the lower levels, from doctors to janitors. All the rooms are plush, apartment-like, with a bedroom and a living area. Below these areas is a cafeteria and recreational area.

Exam and interview rooms: Exam rooms are very similar to those of a regular doctor's office, all of which are fully stocked and prepared to care for any injuries a student may receive during training or that are self-inflicted. Interview rooms⁴ are tandems, with one room being stark, with only a table and two chairs, with a two-way mirror linking it to the observation room, through which the interviews, or sessions⁵, are recorded.

Operating rooms: Most of the floor is taken up by regular, large operating rooms, all fully stocked and ready. Two rooms, however, have a setup with a chair, neuroimaging monitors, and assorted other ominous medical doohickeys. This is where most of the work is done concerning the removal of the amygdala and other brain-scaping⁶.

Training areas: Large, open rooms consisting of things like shooting ranges, exercise areas, and simulation rooms with holographic capabilities⁷.

Classrooms: Does what it says on the tin. Throughout the rest of their training, they are still expected to attend some classes. These are generally taught by doctors working in the lower levels and the farther along in the process a student is, the less they are shuffled to their daily classes in favor of other work in the interview rooms or combat training.

Student dorms: There are only ever about sixty students at a time in the lower levels, split evenly between male and female. They are kept on separate floors, and in separate rooms. Each room is capable of individual climate change, has full soundproofing, and is void of anything with which a student may harm him or herself. No sharp corners, no metal, and a small toilet and sink in the corner. The rooms themselves are fairly large, all things considered, though there are places in the walls to which a student can be attached and the bed has restraints, should these measures become necessary⁸.

Overall, the floorplan changes depending on which level you're on, though each level is labyrinthine in most respects. Hallways that circle around each other, dead ends, and flickering fluorescent lights overhead abound.

Extras: This is the tricky bit, and mods please feel free to tell me if/when I messed something about them up so that I can change it.

As far as the people in the financial offices go, they're not going to be terribly bright or taken aback by people coming in and wandering around. They might ask you what you're doing there, but make up a flimsy line about auditing or something and establish yourself as being there on someone else's authority and they'll leave you be to do as you like with a bright smile and, "Come get me if you need me." They can answer questions about the financial office's cover operation however you'd like, though it won't be anything too much in depth. Government run school, located away from campus for space and security reasons, etc.

Someone will stop you should you try to get into the records room, but if you can open the door before they get to you they'll assume you've got a keycard, are authorized to enter, and will leave you alone.

Down in the lower levels, things will go a little differently. You will be ejected from the lower levels if you can't come up with a better line (think something about being a Parliament representative sent to overlook the progress of the students) and are very assertive with it or if you're incredibly good at sneaking about and hiding in plain sight. There are storage rooms on each floor with things like doctor's scrubs and patient hospital gowns in a myriad of sizes that will help you blend in.

On levels where there will be students present, they'll all be generally very submissive and obedient to their handlers. All the staff outside the doctors wear surgical masks and name-tags with a six-digit number for their identification in the levels outside the offices and staff dorms. Psychics won't pick up anything from anyone at all, and if you try to listen in on an interview, it will be something along the lines of:

Interviewer: What do you see?
Student: [describes something vague, like a flower or person]

Listening in on other interviews will get the same results. Every single time. The voices will be slightly dissimilar, but it will be like listening to the same conversation between different people. Operating rooms will all be empty, and one of the neuor-scaping rooms will be occupied. Inside will be one sleeping student (either male or female, depending on the time of day) in the chair with a needle in his or her forehead and a small group of doctors milling around and 'talking' to each other. Listening closely will only get you medical sounding gibberish about brains and how well the student in question is progressing.

The training areas will be occupied in only a few areas. One will have a group going through a cooperative exercise. They won't speak out loud at all, but will move in sync with one another and complete the exercise without any mishaps. The shooting range will have two students shooting blindfolded at moving targets.

Classrooms will have about five students in each, all of them looking oddly similar to one another, and will be writing nonsense scribble-lines on their papers while they study blank books very studiously under the near-unblinking gaze of a doctor. Down in the student dorms, only a few will be occupied. Depending on the time of day, some will be getting escorted in or out.

Should you stay down in the lower levels long enough, you'll notice that everyone moves through their daily routine and does the same things over and over again in an endless cycle of creepy.

Have fun with that. :D

Images: [1]
Images: [1], [2], [3], [4]
After a certain amount of time in the Gifted dorms on the actual school campus, a student is given a drug that induces a comatose state and they are transported from the school's campus to the Academy's lower levels. Images: [1], [2]
Progress of what is officially referred to as 'enhanced cognitive abilities' is documented through interviews with a coach. They will set up specific memories for the subject to find and then explain to the best of their ability. These interviews are also used to track the subject's general progress within the program.
See the R. Tam Sessions.
Five needles are inserted into the brain through the left temple to begin the removal of pre-determined parts of the amygdala and limbic system when a subject first arrives. This process continues, using localized acid to burn some parts away without having to actually crack a subject's skull (though that is sometimes necessary when complications occur). Images: [1], [2], [3], [4]
For both physical training (combat and weapons) and simulated 'exercises' including but not limited to: Memory precision (subjects are put in a room for varying amounts of time then quizzed on it afterward until they are at the point where a room can be memorized at a glance), 'intuitive' aim (subjects are shown a series of targets for, at the most, a few seconds and are then blindfolded while they shoot), and advanced tactics (subjects are given a scenario with limited information and must plan a successful assault). The holographic training rooms are also used in the resocialization process wherein subjects are shown actors or holoprograms where escape or safety is simulated, and are then punished if they leak information about the Academy/their treatment/etc.
Some restraints are capable of delivering an electric shock, anywhere from low to high voltages, and are often used during the resocialization process. Students are also without any personal effects by this point, though they can earn some things (hair brushes, letter-writing privileges [all correspondence is still strictly regulated and censored], better food, etc.) through good behavior.

o o c || beyondtherift storylines

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 05:03:19 GMT

my rhyme ain't good just yet
-- The thing is, River has a very Unique way of communicating, even when she's stable. Not everyone is going to understand it, but she'll try to find a baseline and work from there. This does not always work with normal people, so eventually River will gravitate toward those who it will work with, usually people with similar backgrounds and perceptions of the world around them. River will also gravitate to those who will humor her, even if they don't understand what she's on about right off. Occasionally all it takes is showing interest to get on her good side.
(Open to fellow crazies, especially those of the "we were former experiments" variety. They can form a club. Also people weird enough to play along a little.)
t h o s e . i n v o l v e d : Cy; --

and I absorb back in the words right through my skin
-- Sometimes, River hallucinates. Her perception of the world around her is screwed seven ways to Sunday, and with Chicago's propensity for gathering all the psychics and throwing them against each other in the great blender that is all of Cook County, it's pretty inevitable that one of them will meet River and, possibly, see things the way she does. This could be both insightful and "ohgod my brains why why god why" for the poor sod on the receiving end. It can even lead to information transfers and a bad case of Knowing More Than You Should.
(Open to any psychics that would like some extra strangeness in their day. Or night. Or possibly long weekend.)
t h o s e . i n v o l v e d : n/a

I'd like to turn them down but there ain't no knob
-- River is the kind of psychic that cannot shut the damn thing off. Add to that layers and layers of trauma, missing parts of her brain, with a dash of psychosis and you've got yourself a crazy girl who really needs some kind of medication to keep from going completely off the deep end and into the Chicago River. Again. Somewhere in the city, there is someone that will prescribe these meds. Possibly even be fascinated by the nifty brain damage and want to cure her. This is unlikely, but they can always try. This person doesn't even have to stick around unless they need a sisterthing.
(Open to a doctor of the medical type that will be kind enough to put themselves in charge of River's mental health, or be put in charge by someone else.)
t h o s e . i n v o l v e d : The Vesmier; --

but what if one of these days your heart will just stop ticking
-- River knows she can't really replace Simon, nor can she get back to him, but damned if she won't need someone to play big brother and protector for her while she's here. She needs someone to be her family, her anchor. The person she can rely on, even if they will be kind of a boob sometimes. Girl is very far from being remotely close to self sufficient, and she needs this person to make sure she's adequately clothed and fed and watered and around to talk her down when she's in the middle of a fit or has a nightmare.
(Mostly probably Sark. Don't lie, you know y'all saw this coming from a mile away. Possibly also others in need of a crazy girl to protect. Especially ones willing to brush hair.)
t h o s e . i n v o l v e d : Julian Sark; --

it's another town, it's another world where the kid's asleep and the loans are paid and the lawns are mowed
-- It's been a long, long time since River has had a chance at living a (relatively) normal life. Chicago, horrific and breaking as it can be, provides the chance for her to have things like a home that's stationary and a bed to sleep in and lessons to learn that didn't involve torture or weaponry and people to be accountable to in a parently manner and friends that will possibly not be terrified of her when they find out she can shoot people dead from 10 yards off with her eyes closed. These people would be called crew, if it weren't for the sad lack of spaceship.
(Open to all and sundry that would like to aid River in adjusting to the "normalcy" of Chicago life.)
t h o s e . i n v o l v e d : Rachel Dawes; --

no one's the killer and no one's the martyr
-- Morality is not a big thing with River. Like a LOT of things with her, it's pretty fluid and of a greyish hue. Bad usually equals the Academy, the Alliance, those that will take away your choice and your freedom for the sake of whatever good they think they're doing. In a world without either of those main antagonists, it can be very easy to get River confused and fighting something that actually ISN'T horrible and mean and awful. She's a weapon, and one day someone will find the trigger and give her a mission and all hell will break loose.
(Open to Manipulative Bastards of all shapes and sizes.)
t h o s e . i n v o l v e d : n/a

the consequence of sounds
-- Being a psychic comes with its share of risks and consequences. One of River's is that, sometimes, she picks up Very Bad Things, and those things can burrow into her own mind and stick there forever, leeching out bad vibes and unwellness. Miranda was one of these things, and in a city like Chicago there's a wealth of opportunities for something to worm its way inside her and cause a ruckus. It could be anything that would cause break in general, but River is pretty much a walking plot device. This will be something big and nasty that she won't be able to look in the face until it's steamrolling over her, and by then it will probably be too late.
(Open for epic break and overarching plot that may or may not make everyone (mainly River) cry at least once.)
t h o s e . i n v o l v e d : n/a

o o c || that time again

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 06:52:18 GMT

The How's My Driving? Meme

ffff helps if I link it right doesn't it?

o o c || character meme

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:15:34 GMT

Basics
Name: River Tam
Nicknames: meimei, little one, that crazy girl
Age: 17
Birthday/Starsign: March 4, 2501
Abode (Taxon): Serenity, passenger bunk 3
Abode (BtR): Conrad Hotel basement

Health/Physical/Psychology
Eyesight/Hearing: Better than they should be.
Abilities/Skills: She can read yo mind.
Physical Health: Excellent, except for the underweight and crazy thing.
IQ (approximate is fine): She'd get into MENSA and then rig it so she could get in again.
Extrovert/Introvert: Depends on the situation and her mental state. Sometimes it is both.
Phobias/Fears: Needles, dudes with blue hands, Reavers, dead-Simon.
Mental Health: Hahahaha, what mental health?

Personality
Goals/Dreams: To get away from the Academy/Alliance for good.
Likes: Dancing, physics, learning, being a brat (that is a legitimate like shut up)
Dislikes: See: phobias/fears, also peas and pyres.
Humour: Juvenile. Sometimes on par with a twelve year old boy, sometimes sophisticated, almost always with someone else being the butt of the joke.
First Impression: Crazy, not all there, kinda creepy but sweet (depending on whether she is just weird at you or tries to stab you in the face during the making of that first impression)
Innocent or guilty: Both.

Appearance
Height: 5'6"
Weight: Not enough.
Eyes: Brown.
Hair: Dark brown.
Build: Think 'dancer.'
Defining Marks, scars, etc: There are a series of scars on her scalp and she's got a mole over one of her eyebrows (I forget which)
Dress Style: Pretty dresses! And sometimes Simon' clothes in Taxon canon because she is keeping them warm for him. Yes. That's. That's totally healthy.
Speech: Disjointed, sometimes incoherent, sometimes flat and emotionless and then again sometimes totally freakout crazy.

Romantic/Sexual
Marital Status: Single.
Sexual Preference: Honestly she'd probably crush on anyone that gives her that kind of attention and isn't someone she hates.
Sex before marriage: "People wait?" SHE IS FROM THE FUTURE she doesn't 'get' all this purity ball stuff.
Casual sex?: If she ever gets to a mental state where sex is a viable option in the first place, probably.
Relationships: Canon: Simon - her brother who she loves forever and also a half even though he can be a boob, Mal - Captain who she trusts but thinks is kinda stupid sometimes, Kaylee - idkmybffthemechanic?, Wash - very nice fun guy with the dinos, Zoe - trustworthy shipmom who sits in Wash's lap a lot, Inara - like a shiny shiny ring that is cool and calm and her shuttle smells nice, Jayne - SMELLS, Book - needs to find God an acceptable editor for His writing.
Taxon: Anna - not a teapot but very nice anyway, Jack - he needed a spigot and now he's all silly, Doctor (AU) - his hair matches his brain, Dean - not a gun but still entertaining, Gwen - hooray Browncoats, Rose - WORRISOME really why do you want to go in the pit o' doom, Billy - LIAR, Jarvis - omg hallo robot friend, Toby - skdjalk HE CAN HEAR TOO but then ow sorry didn't mean to break your brainmeats.
BtR: Cy - IDKMYBFFTHETALKINGNOTCAT? :D , Adrien - kinda dense but maybe it's her fault for being crazy, Sark - OHGODWHAT YOU ARE A PILE OF CONFUSE
General: Totally not prepared for any relationship to be totally healthy. She's got a co-dependent streak wide as a mile.

Favourites
Friend: Kaylee (canon), Anna (Taxon), Cy (BtR)
Book: Fluidity Physics: The Math of Dance by Jin Wuliu
TV Show/Movie/Play: MER GIRL FROM WATER PLANET NINE I mean. The Upper Room. Ballet totally counts as a play.
Colour: Pink
Drink: Something fizzy that tastes like pineapples.
Food: The kind that is not laced with sedatives or other drugs.
Thing to do: Dance

Least Favourites
Person: His name starts with "Ma" and ends with "thias"
Book: All the ones her mother would give her about etiquette.
TV Show/Movie: Something with talking animals.
Colour: Light blue.
Drink: Protein shakes.
Food: Protein bars.
Thing To Do: Get shots.

o o c |meme

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:50:09 GMT

The How's My Driving? Meme

For justprompts: Canyons

Tue, 05 May 2009 23:30:28 GMT

Quote: "The greatest conflicts are not between two people, but between one person and himself." -Garth Brooks from post 4/30 - 5/14 (09)

The process itself was deceptively simple. Steady erosion, the slow carve and split to create the great divide between points. A's and b's of location with the variables of expanse and depth controlled by the diligence of time. Tectonic plates and fault lines need not apply.

"I could make a canyon," if I wanted to, the unspoken half vied for importance as she stared out at the golden dust that passed as desert on this world. Of course she could. She was a river, after all. And she wondered idly what it is that could make her want to.

For Simon, she would. Throw herself unthinkingly down ravines and tumble over herself to etch out safe harbors and smooth stones to rest on.

Crew, even. Too. A familial, if not intentional, addendum.

Divides, though, already existed. Crossed each other, intersected and intertwined and interchanged. Existed as the betweens, the gaps and distances packed with undoings and unsaids and unthoughts.

People separated by hundred-dimensional polyhedrons confined to a flat surface of fractals. Cracked cavernous crocodile skin with levels and layers, depth and dimension in and beyond itself where everyone gets a scale. Sometimes the space would be brimming with what could be found to close the distance. Straw Men in fancy clothes, anchors, pillars for suspension bridges of disbelief, ropes and sand bags.

But there she was. Staring out at desert dust, straddling two scales and running herself between it in a constant loop of bottomless progress. Who she was and who she is, divided by herself, by zero, by pi, by the dams where the floodgates had crumbled into nothingness. By left and then right in an attempt to solve for x and why. River would have to choose a side, eventually. Or risk falling into herself so far not even Simon could fish her out again...

She leaned down and wrote an equation in the loose ground:

Y = 25.00(R/R^A3)*宁静
After which she underlined it. Three times, in the hopes that it would illuminate balance. Beginning, middle, end. Already the wind was erasing the lines and swoops of her writing, but she had it memorized. Could carry it back with her, commit it to paper, maybe. Map out the internal conflict so she could navigate.

It was a plan, at least.

For justprompts: Tea Leaves

Sun, 26 Apr 2009 09:35:57 GMT

Image prompt from post 4/16-4/30 (09):

"What do you see?"

There was something wrong with his tone (inflection deflation modulation and pitch), but River couldn't figure what it was. Not exactly. He smelled like Earl Gray, or maybe it was the light that did, and she could feel the poke against her head and the smooth of latex holding things in place.

It was a dream. She couldn't be sure, she never was, but it felt like one. Real and blurred, sudden with being all wrong and right at the same time, but too wrong to be as real as realness was.

Dream of a memory, maybe. Memories of maybies.

Interviews and needles had never happened at the same time.

But maybe there was a reason. More cost effective.

Cost...

Costly. Something had been costly. It was all on the tip of her tongue, pricked and swollen, but she couldn't grasp it. Her hands were fastened to the arms of her chair (her bed the infirmary Inara's shuttle someone's in the cargo bay and a body somewhere was wearing very strong perfume) and her fingers could only strain and writhe against themselves and the watery nothing of the air.

"What do you see, River?"

And she squinted into the cup he was holding, and when she spoke she tasted honey. Something, someone-- There was a smell of copper in the air.

"Someone was very, very... Bad. Naughty children don't get treats. Never get-- Treated?" She weighed it, considered it, then tossed it aside. "No. Treatments."

River watched her words move up, blueish-purple smoke that tickled her nose before it accumulated at the ceiling, formed clouds, and started to rain. For once she knew what she meant, if not why or when, and would've smiled but for the ink staining her dress.

Simon would be livid. Another thing ruined, and she could feel a fish flop into her hair and burrow between bits of coral and an anemone that had blue eyes and was speaking all of Sycorax's lines.

But her hands were free and River wiped the drops away. Invisifying ink. It faded and sucked itself into her skin like she was a sponge as she watched, eyes wide and searching (veins spots maps left turns wrong turnabouts) for where, exactly, they thought they were going.

-----
Sitting but slumped, forehead against bulkhead, River was curled just enough that her back was flush with Serenity's hull in the little corner she'd eked out for herself hours before. Weeks without adequate sleep and nights full of side-effects and wandering had caught up with her while the crew unloaded their cargo a few yards away. Pallets with smaller crates were stacked, sides bearing the same logo most any processed cargo had, and carrying all manner of assorted sundries. Simple but fancified supplies that would fetch good prices and thanks instead of fuss when the time came that they be sold. Once and again she'd flinch at the sound of crates breaking and opening so smaller packages could be pulled out to fit into the niches and nooks around her, but for the most part she slept.

[ RL with Chuck | Valentine's at the Buy More ]

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 00:24:32 GMT

Once she got to the Buy More, River did her best to blend in. Ducking in between aisles and groups of shoppers (all of them loud, even if they weren't talking), and avoiding anyone in a green and yellow shirt.

They'd just give her position away.

When she got to the Nerd Herd (sheep, cows, people, one of these things is not like the others...) desk, she crouched down and, grinning, waited to hear Chuck's voice. River wanted to surprise him properly.

[ooc: Back from surprise hiatus!]

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 08:43:37 GMT

So, I've been MIA now for nearly two weeks, battling silverfish and geckos, moving heavy things around, and not looking at DDD. I'm sorry I didn't put anything up to let you know what was up. Epic fail on my part. Have some buñuelos?

Special super sorry to Horus-mun and Lucy-mun, as disappearing like that icing on the failcake for my part in the FV. Did you want to do the backdated RL's still?

Posting this here to say that I'm mostly back now and trying to catch up on everything I've missed, which might mean tags on things you've posted a week ago. Again: really, really sorry. I'm at friends?skip=350, so if there's anything you want me to see that might be lost as my eyes glaze over from omgsomanypostshowdoy'alldoit, let me know? Please?

And before I forget, IC reasons for Simon and River being away will be that they were somewhere out in the middle of space that didn't have a Cortex connection.

Fri, 09 May 2008 01:21:02 GMT

Tree has proper connections again.

Can repair past damage from when connection was initially broken. Will clean and fix up, put things in right orders and make it very tidy. Re-arrange for maximum efficiency and be helpful.

[ Locked to the Master ]

No more yelling. Disapproval is known, but further conflict is not to be encouraged.

[ /Locked ]

[ooc: She's going to 'clean' the infirmary, lulz.]

[RL with Meowster] - The infirmary is no place for cats

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 08:22:01 GMT

The Doctor had earned glares when the small and fuzzy first jumped into River's arms. He was injured. When she heard about how it had happened, the blue box got a few glares, too.

Very improper treatment, and it wasn't acceptable.

Now, though, there was the kitchen. River set Saxon down on the table and climbed up onto a chair to get to the topmost shelves with the ready-to-eat single serving protein packs. She grabbed two and got back down, spinning, and walked back over to where the small and fuzzy sat.

"Shenme." Don't have more specific food.

[ooc: Futuredated to after Ten makes a post about dropping Meowster off. Completely open to anyone else on Serenity who wants to interact with the crazy girl, her brother, and the Time Lord as a cat.]

[RL with Sam] - At least she doesn't live in your telly

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 08:32:29 GMT

He was still asleep. The face he wore was framed incorrectly, but she'd deal with that later. For a few minutes, River spent her time taking in the surrounding area, memorizing the angles and placements she could see. It was simple as anything, really, and when the television that was glowing from the corner started to mumble, she wasn't surprised.

Mutter mutter, kind of voice that Simon had when he was working. Clinks and clanks behind the smooth of it and he was talking to him but his ears didn't hear it again yet. She listened instead, names of outdated medications and methods that would make her brother cringe, bits of reassurance fed through lines like milk for children. She listened to all of it, couldn't not. Drums connected to drums, but they were the smallest bones and not the ones for dancing while she heard.

It went quiet and the girl looked out at her, so River smiled back. Waved with her free hand and tilted her head to the side carrying a question. Who are you? There wasn't an answer.

By the time she looked back at the one with Saxon's face, he was still asleep. Quietly, she sat and considered him. Studied his face, listened to what it sounded like with just one beat buried behind ribs instead of two. She kept herself very, very still as she studied him. Unfamiliar environment, the equation on their wrists was new and might shift the outcome to hostility. Couldn't tell yet, his factors were still too quiet.

So there she sat, waiting for them to chitter chatter for themselves and taking note of all the tiny similarities and differences she could remember between the two of them.

OOC: Relationship Meme part deux!

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 04:57:45 GMT

Comment to find out what River and/or Simon think of your characters~

[Dinosaurs are awesome]

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:06:31 GMT

Met them! Traveled a stride in a hop to find them, walked in their grass and came in contact. Up through vines, climbed and saw from another view between the leaves and little bugs.

Met the smaller ones, too. Tiny in their shells, heavy like their parents with the weight of what they'll be. They don't dream, sleep and everything is full with humming breath of quiet excepting screech of bugs and those awake to wander. No screams or empty quiet for lacking of the presence of thought.

She was so full then. Different time before we came, all of us, sticking in straws to drink her up until she was a was. Full with noises and hot boil of magma under her skin. Good to see, feel her dirt under bare feet so that not all of what she was before a was became forgot.

Was worry, not needed. Everything fine and didn't get stomped. No bites or bruises. Took good care and shouldn't get so angry.

[Fake baby was fake]

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:56:36 GMT

It is a betrayal. Mythic little beans and they don't grow. Don't move, but the lies were still there and made the rest believe. All the little parts that fell in line, fibbing little fakers.

The clouds are viral and the bugs came with them, rode in on their backs like soldiers. Soldier, ants, fighting while the floor keeps its move across the board. Said they wouldn't but they did and now they're running in their boots. Little fakers and they are just like what drifts in. The body did not follow proper procedure and there is no control for it.

Not mine, always not mine and nothing comes with it but buggy atmosphere.

OOC: For future reference

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 05:27:32 GMT

Fucking huge write-up on the Academy and River's crazy under the cut.

The Academy

Recruitment - Potential students are chosen through one of three methods. 1) They were born into a government based program focused within pre-natal genetic manipulation, 2) Research teams funded by Blue Sun to find exceptional students independently, and 3) Members of other schools administrations nominate their own pupils for involvement in the program. Once selected, Academy representatives will then visit them in their homes to discuss the transfer. They are told students who choose to join the program will be moving into dormitories and begin to take classes in a very intense schedule that wouldn't allow any regular visits or contact.

School - There is an actual school providing a cover. The Anglo-Sino Alliance Honors Institute. It offers challenging graduate programs, all of the classes are advanced material with main focuses being on maths and sciences. The sports program is limited, but physical education classes include fencing, gymnastics, and various types of hand-to-hand fighting styles.

Progression - After a month and a half, preselected top students are moved to 'gifted' dormitories. This is when they're given the first round of precursory medications. Students are told that what they're taking are immune boosters and vitamins (which some, in fact, are). Physical tests are also started at this time and are done to determine which areas will need improvement and refinement. The third month is when initial neural experiments are begun. The student is given a new drug that puts them in a coma-like state and they are transferred to another facility. Five needles are inserted into the brain through the left temple to begin the removal of pre-determined parts of the amygdala and limbic system.

Resocialization - Beginning with the initial move into GEN-ED dorms, students are all given uniforms and a majority of personal items are confiscated and put into storage. There is no more significant change immediately following the move to 'gifted' dormitories, and the next progression happens after they are moved from the Institute to the underground training facilities. There, subjects are 'broken' over the course of the first year. Employed strategies for this include sensory deprivation (wakeful periods between neural manipulation are spent in a small room with no light and soundproof walls), physical torture (behavior modification through the use of incapacitating electrical shock), and emotional torture (subjects are shown actors or holoprograms where escape or safety is simulated, and are then punished if they leak information about the Academy/their treatment/etc.). Their uniform then consists of either hospital gowns or that thing River is wearing in the beginning sequence of Serenity, which I have no descriptive words for.

Passive training - Achieved through neural manipulation and the removal of the amygdala. Progress of what is officially referred to as 'enhanced cognitive abilities' is documented through interviews with a coach. They will set up specific memories for the subject to find and then explain to the best of their ability. These interviews are also used to track the subject's general progress within the program.

Active training - Both physical training (combat and weapons) and simulated 'exercises' including but not limited to: Memory precision (subjects are put in a room for varying amounts of time then quizzed on it afterward until they are at the point where a room can be memorized at a glance), 'intuitive' aim (subjects are shown a series of targets for, at the most, a few seconds and are then blindfolded while they shoot), and advanced tactics (subjects are given a scenario with limited information and must plan a successful assault).

Current Mental Condition

Presents as the following -

Schizoaffective disorder - a condition where both the symptoms of a mood disorder and schizophrenia are present. A person may manifest impairments in the perception or expression of reality, most commonly manifesting as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions or disorganized speech and thinking, as well as discrete manic and/or depressive episodes in the context of significant social or occupational dysfunction.

Cyclothymia - persistently unstable mood, involving many periods of mild depression and mild elation. This instability usually develops in late adolescence and follows a chronic course, although moods may be within norms for months at a time. Mood swings are usually perceived by the individual as being unrelated to life events

PTSD - a severe and ongoing emotional reaction to an extreme psychological trauma. This stressor may involve someone's actual death or a threat to the patient's or someone else's life, serious physical injury, or threat to physical and/or psychological integrity, to a degree that usual psychological defenses are incapable of coping

Thought disorder - a term used to describe a pattern of disordered language use that is presumed to reflect disordered thinking (see also: pressure of speech, derailment, incoherence (word salad), illogicality, clanging, neologisms, word approximations, loss of goal, preservation, echolalia, stilted speech, and phonemic paraphasia)

Folie à deux -a rare psychiatric syndrome in which a symptom of psychosis (particularly a paranoid or delusional belief) is transmitted from one individual to another. The same syndrome shared by more than two people may be called folie à trois, folie à quatre, folie à famille or even folie à plusieurs (madness of many)

Please point out any and all instances of me screwing something up, as I probably have somewhere.

Asking for consideration

Sat, 23 Feb 2008 01:43:31 GMT

The clouds are different, but still fuzzy. Very thick, makes it hard to move but the imbalance has a source now and a name is needed.

Any suggestions? Should be evenly distributed between both sides, will figure equations closer to the meeting.

[ooc: Woo, virus! Firefly-muns, feel free to notice that she's going around with a pillow under her shirt and asking, at random intervals, for you to feel her 'belly' when the baby kicks.]

Another Mix?

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 19:36:08 GMT

Yes. Another mix. alkdjfa;ldkfa I cave to peer-pressure, guys. I CAVE!

hxxp://www.megaupload.com/?d=2XHMHBYM

    * Eisley – A Sight to Behold ** They Identify

Could I be possibly insane
To think you and I have life figured out
And how does one approach this
When all our past loves have let us down
Oooh...
Let's break the walls down
And find how to live
'Cause you and I have
So much to give

    * The White Stripes – Hypnotize ** Can You Hear Them, Too?

I want to spin my little watch
Right before your eyes
You're the kind of girl a guy like me
Could hypnotize
And if this comes as a surprise
Just think of all those guys
Who would tell you lies
I want to spin my little watch
Right before your eyes
I want to hold your little hand
If I can be so bold
And be your right hand man
'til your hands get old
And then when all the feeling's gone
Just decide if you want to keep holding on
I want to hold your little hand
If I can be so bold
If I can be so bold
If I can be so bold

    * Elvis Costello – You Belong to Me ** Master Has Her

Things you see are getting hard to swallow.
You're easily led, but youre much too scared to follow.
You've been warned.
You're going to get torn.
No uniform is gonna keep you warm.

    * A Fine Frenzy – The Minnow & The Trout ** An Unconventional Friendship

Help me out said the minnow to the trout
I was lost and found myself swimming in your mouth
Help me chief
I've got some plans for you and me
I swear upon this riverbed
I'll help you feel young again
Not your every day circumstance
Hummingbird taking coffee with the ants

    * The Magnetic Fields – Nothing Matters When We’re Dancing ** In Cardiff

And nothing matters when we're dancing
In tat or tatters you're entrancing
Be we in Paris or in Lansing
nothing matters when we're dancing
You've never been more beautiful
your eyes like two full moons
As here in this poor old dancehall
among the dreadful tunes
the awful songs we don't even hear...

    * Sarah Harmer – I Am Aglow ** Following His Lies

Some might say these thoughts are wrong
That you might see yourself in this song
I hope that you don’t mind if you do
I am aglow with thoughts of you
Does it matter that what I remember might be
Just my own imagination painting scenes more pretty
Is it obvious? Does it show?
With thoughts of you I am aglow

    * Eels – My Beloved Monster ** River is His New Pet

My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather
She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean

    * Nellie McKay – Ding Dong ** Suspicions Dutifully Ignored

Do you have a little time
Would you like to ease my mind
Talk for hours and never stop
Chop your head off
Be a lighter person
Brighter person nicer
But you've heard it all before
So ding dong
There's the doorbell hello man in white
He's gonna make you all well
Getcha through the night
But hey now
You don't feel better
As you take your fresh bromide
Maybe this man of letters lied

    * The Stone Coyotes – Torn Asunder ** Going for a Ride (ACC audio, sry)

Early one evening
For no reason or rhyme
I started to go back
Go back in time
I saw conquerors counting
Their ill-gotten gains
Then the tables would turn
And they'd languish in chains
Oh, I wonder
What will abide
With all torn asunder
We're just along for the ride
(I've got you by my side)

    * The Fugees – Killing Me Softly ** The Drums Have a Price

He sang as if he knew me in all my dark despair
And then he looked right through me as if I wasn't there
But he was there, this stranger, singing clear and loud
Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

    * Death in Vegas – Hands Around My Throat ** A Means to an End

You're just too close
There's no-one here
There's no-one there
I still can't tell
Try this
And you might find
I'm in your face
I see your face
The air is cold
I'm still on hold
I still can't tell
What's been said
Your Hands around my Throat
Ask me to let go

    * Tilly and the Wall - Rainbows in the Dark ** Hindsight is 20/20

I laid on my back, let the punk record spin
The sloppy guitar, it was shooting out stars
It all went to my heart, yeah some rainbows in the dark
So I called up danger, my friends and some strangers
They stumbled and wavered, but caught me a saviour
They slipped me the blood in the whole of the vial
But I didn't feel them change
Then I met a man with a fist for a hand
Held me flat on my back, taught me how to give in
Some phrases were shot, pretty roses got tossed
The gift of a fat-lipped grin

x-posted here, ddd_fst , and fst

Double!

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 04:38:58 GMT

Xie xie.

Unexpected, very pretty. Much better than flowers. Metal doesn't wilt, droop and die. Prefer it now to soap.

Note was nice, too. Very sweet.

[locked to Duo]

Deserve as serving, don't worry. Was working in limited parameters, didn't have the right equations to show you. There's progress, though.

[/locked]

[ooc: Finally thanking Duo for his V-day gift. Awww.]

[locked from Duo]

Sun, 10 Feb 2008 13:37:18 GMT

Fighting, everyone sniping and talking in tones they shouldn't.

He tells me what to listen to but he doesn't know what's in there. Doesn't see it but tells me how to handle ears and what they hear.

Tried to explain but it never works. Parts come out, never the whole and it isn't enough to make things clear.

Everything is too loud, there's too many equations and not enough numbers. Rather yell than listen.

[ooc: She needs to stop fighting with Duo about Master, srsly.]

OOC: LOLCODE!

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 10:42:33 GMT

Me? Too much time on my hands? Maybe. Okay, fine, yes.

So, here's how the code works:

R I V E R
2 + 1 + 6 + 5 + 2 = 16 = 1 + 6 - 7
9 + 8 + 4 + 3 + 9 = 33 = 3 + 3 - 6
9 + 9 + 4 + 5 + 9 = 36 = 3 + 6 - 9
8 + 8 + 3 + 4 + 8 = 31 = 3 + 1 - 4

Each letter gets four numbers from each column: Chaldean, Chaldean-shift, Basic, and Basic-shift. Add each row together until it is one digit, which will leave each name/word/whatever with four numbers.

ex; RIVER = 7, 6, 9, 4

The numbers get their own meanings, which I'm copypasta'ing from the Wiki on numerology. That's also where I found the Chaldean and Basic number-to-letter values.

0. Everything or absoluteness. All
1. Individual. Aggressor. Yang.
2. Balance. Union. Receptive. Yin.
3. Communication/interaction. Neutrality.
4. Creation.
5. Action. Restlessness.
6. Reaction/flux. Responsibility.
7. Thought/consciousness.
8. Power/sacrifice.
9. Completion.
10. Rebirth.

Plug the numbers you have into wacky equations that don't make any actual mathematical sense. Hear that sound? That's the sound of a math professor somewhere sobbing.

And thus, you have code! Trust me, it could've been much more complicated. I considered making it a formula for each letter in a name where it factored in the letter, the order it was in, and whether it was a consonant or a vowel. Be thankful that I am not that good with math. No one would ever understand River then.

The OCD End ~ ♥

[LOL fake math?]

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 05:13:25 GMT

I need to make it stable.

y^a * 7^b * 4n + 1 = x^7

But that isn't the right name so it doesn't count.

3'(x)^2 = 1n^5

Still doesn't make it even. They don't cooperate together but they should, they're the same meaning. Try combining them,

(1x'/3) (2^n + 7) (a^4 - 1) x^5 = him^7

But he's supposed to be 9. Change subject, get new numbers and a clear perspective on the equations. An attempt at more complexities, curves and bells.

tan(pi / 26 - x + 7^5 (4^3 * 9) - 1^a)

Too much to be divided, into itself and there aren't enough pieces for everyone at the table. Some will have to do without. They'll be upset, but mommy will bake more later. Something without pie, less distracting in one way but more in others. i(t) = dQ / dt, fill in the parts with what's there to do filling, cherries or apples or oranges with lemons.

i(t) = (7^8 * 6^2) / (9 - 1) (4x^4)

Instantaneous current is still delayed, the charge is missing and something doesn't connect but it reaches for it and tries.

10^-6, ly = 2882 = 15.8 * 10^-6ly

The numbers help. Make things steady, because they're constant. Won't change their values even though they sneak to when no one looks at them. Drop and soar depending on how much bread you buy at market but they're always the same number of apples on the tree when they fall. Clear representation.

I need an abacus.

[ooc: I made a code. Every single one of those numbers is from a name. I think her crazy is rubbing off on me...]

OOC: No, really. Today was this boring.

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 04:46:21 GMT

U can has River mix?

hxxp://www.megaupload.com/?d=XWEIOI98
01. Most Serene Republic - The Men Who Live Upstairs ** The Academy
Behavior lies in the food we eat,
insipid sedatives.
Much of all those cloy chemicals are building up to give...
uncontrolled division of cells from the men who live upstairs.
Drowning us in saturation, for all minds to hum the same.
This deducer of lives is not a being, but profused meaning.
Sleeping during the day.
Why lack of living from what we're eating?
Go and be on your way, enter the tainment, dependent thought sent.
Lion's share of the whites is sleeping the thoughts with skin.
The next not physical fights, but will against stolid sin.
One time, let me take my memories for all time.

02. Tanya Donelly - Someone to Die For ** Simon
Poor thing, poor thing
Do you have a sister?
Would you lay your body
Down on the tracks for her?
Step one, tiptoe in hell
For her?
Don't you have someone
you'd die for?

03. Emily Haines and the Soft Skeleton - Crowd Surf Off A Cliff ** Rescue
If you find me, hide me, I don't know where I've been
Are we breathing, are we breathing, are we wasting our breath?
It won't be enough to be rich
All the babies tucked away in their beds
We're out here screaming,
"The life that you thought through is gone!"
Can't wind down, the ending outlasting the move
I wake up lonely

04. Mindy Smith - Out of Control ** Damage Done
The blood is dry in the wounds I hide
The scars are settling in
So I keep the light low and they still show
I sit and count every stitch
What it means, what it really means
It's time I let everything go
That's killing me and turning me
Spinning me so out of control
I don't want to let go
I don't want to let go

05. Hanne Hukkelberg - Balloon ** Seeing Truths and Spinning Falsehoods
Suddenly the balloon loosened itself, he said
“I have to move further on, I'll keep on flying
Keep on showing the truth from my point of view”
I fell down on a cottonpavement painted blue
And I lost the sight, lost the moment and my view
The only truth that I knew, moments swiftly disappear

06. Two Gallants - Fly Low Carrion Crow ** Guilt
So fly low ye carrion crow
And seize my body for to free my soul
And drop me high into the depths below
For the things I've seen no one else should know
And what speak you of a love so bold?
And if song could sing, no word could hold
But I warn you now of an end foretold
And a life long waiting for a death below

07. Billie the Vision & the Dancers - So You Want Me To Bleed ** Coming to Get Her
You're the sharp teeth tiger and I'm the little,
Tiny squeaking mouse in your mouth
And I'm a genius in jeans and a stealing shark
'Cause you gave me nothing but a writer's block
Always the same, oh my, this is the place where good taste goes to die

08. M. Ward and Zooey Deschanel - Magic Trick ** Hiding Away
I've got one magic trick
Just one and that's it
Ooh... I disappear
It's like, now you see me, now you don't
You think you're gonna get to know me now, well you won't
I've got one magic trick
Just one and that's it
Ooh... Ooh... I disappear

09. Tegan & Sara - The First ** Killed 'em With Math
By definition from grade school to English 30
We quietly become strong so early
Take it or leave it, they can't believe it
They go from kindergarten to killing sprees
They go from heartache to inner peace
100 foot ceilings 100 percent deceit
He said let's leave this between you and me
My cats watch my stuff leave my house
Between you and me the cat burglars are
What did you see what did you steal
Tell me baby how does it feel
Yeah how do you feel

10. The Decemberists - Of Angels and Angles ** Still Mixed-up
There are angels in your angles
There's a low moon caught in your tangles
There's a ticking at the sill
There's a purr of a pigeon to break the still of day
As on we go drowning
Down we go away
And darling, we go a-drowning
Down we go away
Away